I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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