dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
