I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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