Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
