4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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