We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
