Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
