so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
