He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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