"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
