I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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