guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
