did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
