I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
3pm strippers are depressing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
