Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
then he tried to convert me to islam
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
