so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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