would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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