first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
