i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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