So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
