Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
