So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
