She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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