You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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