i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
