So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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