I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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