puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
