I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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