I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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