If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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