And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
