Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
