she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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