somebody snuck up and got me drunk
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My life is pants optional.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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