Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
