two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
