Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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