i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
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