Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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