I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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