BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
