walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
