Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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