He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
