Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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