The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
