dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
