I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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