New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
